It would be easy to delete the previous post, it has only been read 42 times so far, but I will leave it there as it’s all part of the story, even though it reflects very badly on me. Moses did the same, it’s just the way it is, it keeps us humble.
It appears that events leading up to the 7th September 2032 and thereafter, until yesterday, as well as my expectations of beginning my global travels and ministry, after a trip to heaven, were all yet another deception of the enemy of humanity, the angel we know as Satan. He managed to use scriptures to convince me that my Father had actually deceived me, details are provided in this post. Here are the verses:
You have deceived me, O Yehovah, and I was deceived. You have overcome me and prevailed.
I am a laughingstock all day long; everyone mocks me.
8For whenever I speak, I cry out; I proclaim violence and destruction.
For the word of Yehovah has become to me a reproach and derision all day long.
9If I say, “I will not mention Him or speak any more in His name,”
His message becomes a fire burning in my heart, shut up in my bones,
and I become weary of holding it in, and I cannot prevail.
But my Father asked me today, via song, ‘Would I lie to you’? I know that He wouldn’t do so.
The weeks since the 7th September have also been the most difficult so far, worse than the forty days and nights of testing by Satan in October 2020. Continual bad sleep, a bout of sexual temptation and assault over five consecutive nights, and other physical afflictions, have all combined to make it a miserable period, and one where I did not feel God was with me, I felt forsaken.
But perhaps this is all part of the journey for me, and I still have no doubts that I will serve as a light to the nations in due course, and will eventually reign as His king over the whole earth forever more.
I have indeed become a laughing stock, I could supply evidence of this, from family members, former friends, brothers and sisters in Yahshua, and I’ve even attracted the attention of the UK government too, who feign concern for my mental welfare. All of these mockers and unbelievers will eventually see the truth, but they have a long period of suffering on earth ahead of them first, before an even longer period of torment in the pits of the earth. I will endure my suffering in this period right now if I have to, and trust in God to deliver me and protect me when things heat up. I expect more tribulations though in the short term, but I won’t lose my faith. I am thankful for the two friends who remained steadfast, Jamal and Shafiq.
That said, I want to apologise to my Father for the things I wrote in my last post, they were about as bad as it could get really. I ask His forgiveness for my trespasses. Interestingly, just a day or two after I wrote that I would no longer be able to serve Him, I was in fact serving Him via a long video call teaching and correcting and advising my friend and brother Shafiq in Uganda. Despite my sternness with him, he couldn’t help but smile throughout the call, as he knows I am my Father’s messenger, and he enjoys learning from me. God knows my heart, better than I know myself at times no doubt. The entirety of Psalm 139 sums up my thoughts at the current time, here it is:
1O Yehovah, You have searched me
and known me.
2You know when I sit and when I rise;
You understand my thoughts from afar.
3You search out my path and my lying down;
You are aware of all my ways.
4Even before a word is on my tongue,
You know all about it, O Yehovah.
5You hem me in behind and before;
You have laid Your hand upon me.
6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7Where can I go to escape Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence?
8If I ascend to the heavens, You are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.
9If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle by the farthest sea,
10even there Your hand will guide me;
Your right hand will hold me fast.
11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me,
and the light become night around me”—
12even the darkness is not dark to You,
but the night shines like the day,
for darkness is as light to You.
13For You formed my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14I praise You,
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Marvelous are Your works,
and I know this very well.
15My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in secret,
when I was woven together
in the depths of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all my days were written in Your book
and ordained for me
before one of them came to be.
17How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God,
how vast is their sum!
18If I were to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand;
and when I awake,
I am still with You.
19O God, that You would slay the wicked—
away from me, you bloodthirsty men—
20who speak of You deceitfully;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21Do I not hate those who hate You, O Yehovah,
and detest those who rise against You?
22I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them as my enemies.
23Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my concerns.
24See if there is any offensive way in me;
lead me in the way everlasting.
It is very comforting to know that God is with me always, even if sometimes He allows me to be tested and tempted and to fail. It brings to mind something that Paul wrote about which I suspect was a similar experience for him:
5I will boast about such a man**, but I will not boast about myself, except in my weaknesses. 6Even if I wanted to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will credit me with more than he sees in me or hears from me, 7or because of these surpassingly great revelations.
So to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10That is why, for the sake of Christ, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(** The man Paul refers to in verses 2-4, the correct translation would say ‘after fourteen years’, that being fourteen years after my baptism in 2017, so it will happen in 2031).
As we read, Paul was given a thorn in his flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment him. I am sure, without a doubt, that I have something similar, but I think I get Satan himself, based on experiences I have had. I have pleaded for relief from it many times, with no respite, he re-appears periodically. Unlike Paul, I can’t say I take any delight in them whatsoever. I pray that God’s grace is sufficient for me. I am weak too, but all that matters is that I get back on the horse after being knocked off, and events of the past year mean that I can never be conceited, as mostly I am filled with shame and remorse for stumbling so many times. It’s so difficult, I have hated most of the past eighteen months, and I really look forward to better times ahead, travelling the world, speaking truth to the evil governments and others setting up the beast system, and showing the truth and the light to millions, maybe even to billions, before the persecutions start in March 2029. I also look forward to being God’s avenger of blood, the evil ones will pay the price for their service of Satan.
My Father reassures me that He loves me very much on a regular basis, even though (in honesty) I find it very difficult to reconcile the torments He allows me to suffer with love. Whilst Satan has His ear, He is liable to consider love in a very different way to the way we would consider love for our children though, and I relish the day when I will see Satan and his armies defeated by me and God’s armies in heaven and cast down to earth in fury. I hope it’s sooner rather than later, but whenever it is, we know it’s coming. God will no longer hear the whispers of a Satan that hates mankind, and mankind will no longer hear the whispers of Satan, who also hates God.
A few messages I have had recently to keep me going in a tough period included the following video, which was suggested to me just today:
I was also played a song on Apple music with the following title, which pertains to my previous post entitled ‘End of the Story’:
Also, this following video has a line in it ‘”Let the record show I had a good time in the well”:
So, hopefully, my time in the well is nearly over. I live in a village called Sparkwell by the way, which translates from olde English as the spear of El, but also literally is Sprak-well. I have felt I am trapped within a hole too, but at least the hole is washed through continually with the water of life.
Finally, the words on the screen at the start of this video of Amazing Grace are words I have read before, but only at this time do I realise that they truly are about me, I am ‘that one’ that he has come to find, the goat cast into the wilderness carrying the sins of Israel on my head from birth back to Azazel, and I have turned my back on Him many times in the past eighteen months:
I was sobbing when I read these words, and throughout the hymn itself. I also sobbed on the recent holy day on the first of the seventh month, the day of shouting and making noise in anticipation of God’s victory, and the return to life of all of those who have been martyred for their steadfast faith through thousands of years. Everything I do, I do for those people, for the rest of the world, and for God, and for my friends and family, even though they have nearly all rejected me. I don’t do it for myself, because I don’t want it, the job as king of the earth is not appealing to me as I write. But it doesn’t matter much what I want, I accept my destiny as it is, and we are promised that our lives will be wonderful after these times of sorrows and for ever more, so we soldier on in whatever way God needs us to, with faith in His promises and love for mankind, and especially for those whose names are written in the book of life.
A quick reminder that the final festival of the year is starting in a few day’s time, on 21st October 2021 in the pagan calendar for me here in the UK. Instructions on how to celebrate it are contained in this post, and you will also find more instructions in the Book of the Law explanations section of the website, I think it will be under the ‘Love God’ section from memory.
That’s all for this post, other than to welcome those who have registered for the site recently, the steady flow continues at between 5-10 most days. It is unfortunate that you arrive at a tough time for me, but never mind.
May we all be blessed with strength and faith by my Father in heaven, with the ability to resist the devil, so that we can continue to serve Him as He requires, and our brothers and sisters in Yahshua, and the wider world in our witnessing and sharing of the gospel. The clock ticks every second, and we are only ten years and eleven months from the day of wrath of God. I suspect those years will seem like an age, but we will get through them and emerge victorious on the other side, inheriting the earth and anticipating eternity with our loving Father in the new Jerusalem. I pray in Yahshua’s name, amen.